I've been reading good stuff

I haven't written anything read-worthy in quite some time.  The life of it is in me.  Tonight, I could write about a few lines of Wendell Berry.  "Remembering that it happened once, We cannot turn away the thought... we ourselves, opening a stall... might find them breathing there, Foreknown: the Child bedded in straw, The mother kneeling over Him, The husband standing in belief He can scarcely believe, in light That lights them from no source we see...and we are here As we have never been before, Sighted as not before, our place Holy, although we knew it not." The gift of the poem that brought unexpected tears. 

I could write about a picture and a verse.  The one with me and the boy in it, and the flash of "For you died, and your life is hid with Christ in God.  When Christ, who is your life, appears, you will also appear with him in glory."  Letting seed fall to ground dead and dying.  It's dead.  Whatever of it was alive will bear fruit after death.  Bearing, carrying the weight of death and awaiting more life.  In pain, silence, dark.

George MacDonald.  No entry would be quite complete without him.  "If thou hadst closed my life in seed and husk, And cast me into soft, warm, damp, dark mould, All unaware of light come through the dusk, I yet should feel the split of each shelly fold, Should feel the growing of my prisoned heart, And dully dream of being slow unrolled, And in some other vagueness taking part. 

"The life that knows not, patient waits, nor longs:- I know, and would be patient, yet would long.  I can be patient for all coming songs, But let me sing my one monotonous song.  To me the time is slow my mould among; To quicker life I fain would spur and start The aching growth at my dull-swelling heart."

Impatience isn't attractive to me anymore.  Waiting is inevitable, and the time between times has taken on a life of its own that I am slowly learning to appreciate.  Belief I can scarcely believe.  The aching growth at my dull-swelling heart.  And I am here as I have never been before.  Even here.  It's life I am waiting for.  But what do I know?