something old

... that's right, it's me! I'm the old one here. This weekend marks the oldest I've been. Ever.

I'm listening to Underoath right now... "In Regards to Self," and enjoying it thoroughly. It hits the spot. In my old age, I didn't think that I'd like screamo/hardcore as much as I inconsistently do at this moment. I thought I'd switch completely over to Phil Wickham-- all easy listening, all the time. I heard some 50's music in Burgerville today and it nearly made me nauseous. I get the "I'm in high school swing choir" feeling from that music. I had to tell myself to shake it off. Fortunately, I was meeting one of my three favorite roommates (out of three... so they're all faves) from last year for lunch at a park today, so the illness was quickly blown away and exchanged for pleasanter associations. I started listening to Sarah Groves because one of my friends coerced me into borrowing it. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. I am prejudiced against this type of music because I like to think that, deep down, I am and will always be "hardcore." Not easily accessible. Takes good taste to like something like that. But somehow I am loving and exciting to love the most diverse elements of deep and wide, light and easy, heavy and heartening, inside and in the environment. I feel so light and rooted, tree-like. Maybe today when I was praying willow, I was praying me.

For so long I have lived under the impression that certain likes and dislikes don't mix with others. I often think that about job descriptions, callings, styles of clothing and hair and music, types of food, etc. It's strange how I am afraid of myself loving what I love to the extent and at the time and in the place that I do. It's amazing what freedom I have had in expressing that love as it comes and goes and lasts forever, somehow.

I guess that's part of getting old--allowing all the disparate elements of my life to be woven together and turned into whatever form and function in God's sight I am being. Something old that is being stretched, spun, twisted, dyed, tied.

Something old that is being made new in the attitude of the mind, being conformed into the image of God. Bringing out old treasures along with the new.

Can't even wait.