No, it's more like, this is what I'm excited about, and this is what I'm learning.
And it's always a hard place to be. Always has been, always will be.
So many disappointments. So many frustrations. So many personality conflicts.
So many differences in theology. How can my "me" and your "me" get along?
How can my view of God and yours enrich one another when only one of us is ready for it?
Or neither of us?
- I was thinking about a conversation I had on Sunday. The subject of women and men came up, specifically Eve as the trend-setting/example sinner (sin-setter) for women everywhere. The question seemed to be, in God's good creation, did he make women more sinful than men because of their "emotions"? Or, I should say, more prone to deception? That's what my friend was seemingly implying. We talked about it for a little while, but the conversation left me feeling like so much was missing. So I guess I'm answering or questioning some of the suppositions and stereotypes inherent in the conversation.
To clarify: I don't think that women across the board are any more morally deficient than men or particularly prone to falsehood or false teaching, given equal opportunities to know truth.
I wouldn't necessarily say that it's because of their "emotions" that women don't want to believe truth, or want to believe a lie. If that's so, one could generalize that men suppress truth to suit their natural fleshly tendencies for violence or lust. Those are attached to emotions, too. Are sinful forms of anger and jealousy/covetousness or lust more logical or less emotional because they're more traditionally seen as masculine? Are women "more emotional" than men? Anger is an emotion. Fear is an emotion. I think emotions can be related to sin, and sin can be associated with certain emotions. Which doesn't mean the emotions in and of themselves are good or bad, but what happens with them--whether they are in the spirit of Christ or the devil.
And what does it mean to be a weaker vessel? I prefer to allow the metaphor to be a metaphor. Maybe that's my poetic side coming out, but perhaps instead of judging one's wife because of her differences (whatever the man might see as weakness because it's different), the man can see her as fine china, vulnerable in any way, rather than the equivalent metaphor, however he may see himself as stronger in comparison to his wife. I guess if "emotions" are an "issue" in a marriage, then heck yes the husband should try to be understanding! I would hope so. Not encouraging her to sin when she feels angry or hopeless or whatever, not doing things that even unintentionally hurt her heart... also a wife would not encourage her husband to remain in sin regarding his emotions (if he's domineering or manipulating or gossiping)... or his logic (using logic to justify sin, even "biblical logic"- like using biblical passages to excuse his anger and violence in inappropriate ways). We can all be manipulative or violent or whatever. Maybe one sin just works better for a particular person than another... does more damage?... is more common?
Or does emotion vs. logic imply that women are less capable of thinking rationally about things? One example being that they are more prone to making an emotionally-driven factual or logical blunder? The premise is insulting. The example can be common to both men and women. In the Meyers-Briggs world, "feelers" and "thinkers" refer to general categories of people who make decisions mainly based on either their feelings and impressions, or fact and logic. In that sense, there are plenty of men who are feelers, and plenty of women who are thinkers. Yet they are quick to affirm that all feelers think, and all thinkers feel. Decision-making makes the difference. Balanced thinkers and feelers will take in more than just their own visible set of facts, and more than their own instinctual feelings when making decisions. Regardless of gender.
I guess it's more of the fact that I've seen all kinds of sin cut across gender lines, and so I think we're equal opportunity sinners and saints in and out of Christ. God help us.
I suspect that because some of the new testament-era women may not have had access to teaching about Christ to the same extent that some of the men had, that that is why they were not allowed to teach in certain circumstances or ask questions of one another or their husbands during a worship gathering.
Everyone may be more prone to be seduced by certain falsehoods than others, men and women alike (or differently). And I sure hope that regardless of gender or race or class, God will do all that God can do to make us holy and helpful and gracious like him
- I don't think emotions are weakness. I think expressing them is a form of vulnerability. I don't think that vulnerability is weakness. It's the creative source of courage and innovation and life, according to Brene Brown in her TED talk entitled "Listening to Shame." No wonder men are afraid of appearing that way. Maybe that's something men can learn from women. And maybe women can learn to be less hard on men when they do express their emotions, and be tender and truthful with them when those emotions are related to sins. How do women live with men in an understanding way, especially in regards to failure and shame?
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